This week I got chatting to my favourite pocket rocket of a celebrant, Dilhari from Kiss Me You Fool about all things you need to know with booking a kickass celebrant and having a memorable hilarious and picture-perfect ceremony that your guests will WANT to listen to.
For us, personalised vows was a must and I love reading them even now so make sure to let your photographer take a photo of them if you aren’t getting a video! Setting off confetti cannons got the celebrations going and everyone lively. We wanted our ceremony reasonably short but meaningful as we believe the ceremony is the important part, it’s the cornerstone of the marriage, the rest is the wedding part. Most say they want to get the ceremony over with and get to the ‘fun’ part – but why not make your ceremony fun?
I think picking the right celebrant for you is a key to feeling relaxed and actually really enjoying your wedding ceremony, so go check out my faves Kiss Me You Fool and Married by Kristy and you won’t be sorry!
Is there anything that a couple need to do before the wedding day?
If you want to legally get married in a civil ceremony in Oz by a marriage celebrant, you need to:
1. Find a celebrant – make sure they are YOUR kind of person and that they are going to make your day
ridiculously EPIC- don’t you dare settle for just anyone;
2. Get your hands on a Notice of Intended Marriage which is a form from the Attorney General’s website-
This document then needs to be:
a. Signed, witnessed (a list of prescribed witnesses is on the form- your celebrant is one of those
people) and given to your celebrant no earlier than 18 months before your wedding date and
no later than 1 month before your wedding date. If you are within the 1 month timeframe, talk
to your celebrant about your options.
3. Get your wedding planning on – work with your celebrant to great the kind of ceremony that really reflects
you and your partner and is not just stock standard;
4. Meet with your celebrant once more before your wedding ceremony to sign a Declaration of No Legal
Impediment to Marriage (DONLI) and confirm all the ceremony details; and
5. HAVE AN UNFORGETTABLE WEDDING DAY.
What is your favourite part of a wedding ceremony?
There are so many things that I could write here and lot of them would probably be things others would love as
well but for me, my favourite part of a wedding ceremony has, and always will be, watching ALL those beautiful
moments of connection.
The moment where the couple see each other down the aisle, the moment where a parent realises that their child
is really an adult and is about be someone else’s so to speak and their eyes well with tears and they reach for the
hand of the person closest, the moment where a couple says honest, real and raw things to each other;
sometimes things that they have never said before but which always evokes such emotion, the moment where
children watch on as their parents commit their lives to each other and their little faces beam with delight and
they get to see what love looks like and the moment where a couple realises that they are married and all that
matters is how they feel about each other, in that moment. It’s all those connections – they are mind blowing.
Let the children play!
What are the legal requirements for a civil ceremony?
The beauty of legal civil ceremonies here in Australia is that the SKY IS THE LIMIT. There are only two things
that NEED to be to said under the Marriage Act 1961, and these are:
1. “The Monitum” or the legal definition of marriage; and
2. “The Legal Vows”- which the couple must each say – “ I, FULL NAME, call upon the persons here
present to witness that I take you, FULL NAME, to be my lawful wedded husband/wife.
Everything else you want to include in your ceremony is COMPLETELY up to you. So, go nuts.
Why not strut down the aisle to Bag Raiders while the guests wave sparklers?
Do you have any tips for writing personalised vows?
I do, but it’s probably not what you want to hear. There are no rules for writing personal vows. There is no script
you are meant to follow and no words you are required to say (that’s for the legal vow part). Vows can be tricky
and I think that’s what makes them so special because you need to dig deep to say the things that you want to
say to this person who is your world.
I always tell my couples to:
1. write in a way that’s genuine, meaning, in the way that they are comfortable talking to each other;
2. to keep it simple because it doesn’t need to be complicated;
3. to tell each other what it is you really adore about the other, what you love about your life together or
what you really look forward to in the future;
4. be honest – don’t go making things up or writing things you think you have to say, the words you say
lose their meaning then; write the truth; and most importantly,
5. STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE – ask your celebrant, your bestie, your family for assistance because
they know YOU BOTH as a couple but please don’t be tempted to plagiarise someone’s words or
thoughts from google; we’ve all heard it one to many times.
Are there any things that can make couples feel more relaxed during the ceremony?
Hands down … FUN saves the day. I don’t know about you, but anytime I get the chance to have a laugh or
smile a giant smile is a moment I want more of. A wedding day, let alone a ceremony, can have such a huge
build up for couples and that can come with a lot of nerves, anxiety and uncertainty. So, my aim is to always
ensure that my couples enjoy their ceremony and I don’t just mean actively listening to the words said, but giving
themselves permission to high five each other, to poke fun at each other, to hold hands and to giggle like crazy
when they see each other. All of that just allows them to ease into what is so familiar to them – being
TOGETHER and that makes all the difference. It allows them to focus on them instead of the people watching
What are some of your favourite things about being married? Any tips for getting through struggles?
I just love the fact that no matter what, I have someone who is as invested in me as I am in him. He knows my
strengths, my weaknesses and he knows how to ensure that every single day, I live the best version of myself.
He is my safe place, my quiet cheerleader, my inspiration and my motivation. But the thing I probably love the
most is that everything in this life that I do, he is the person that stands strong beside me and bears witness to all
of it and shares in all of it. Who I am matters to him.
As for struggles, the road won’t be smooth. There will be lumps and bumps and all kinds of roadblocks. But, no
matter what happens JUST KEEP TALKING TO EACH OTHER. There are so many times that we try to
internalise things and we push them deep down and never open up. You are there for each other in all the times
and that includes times that really truly suck. It’s about trusting each other enough to be honest and open and
always know that you can tell each other anything, even if the other doesn’t want to hear it. Together, you will
ride those choppy waves and come out of it stronger and with a greater appreciation for the team that you are.
Do you have a particular memory from your wedding day that still stands out?
I remember everything about that day and I wouldn’t change a single thing. But, the moment that still stands out
for me was the moment where Doug surprised me with something he knew I loved – footwear. After we did our
rings, Douglas whipped out a pair of stunning Jimmy Choos.
I know it may sound so materialistic to some but rings just don’t do it for me. I never obsessed about different
cuts or shapes or tried on lots of options. Don’t get me wrong, I love looking at other people’s but for me,
personally, shoes are something I could spend hours with. He knew that … he knew me well enough to know
that slipping on a pair of stunners that I had tried on during our travels would make me LOSE ME SHIT! And it
It made me realise that this man of mine, was just like me – someone who would never settle for the norm.
Drink of choice?
I am legit obsessed with champagne, prosecco and vodka, lime and soda. Can we have a drink please?? <uhm yes, even if it’s Monday morning, actually especially if it’s Monday after a wedding weekend!>
Do we need to bring you a step :p haha jokesssss
I saw on her InstaStories that Dilahir got asked this the other day and found it hilarious… go check out her Instagram to see how gorgeous he is!
I would NEVER EVER say no to a step – HAHAHAHA
I really love working with this girl so please go check her out!
Happy wedding planning!